There is only one person who can tell you whether you have committed the unpardonable sin, the unforgivable sin, and that is Jesus Christ, the Living God, Himself. Nobody else can tell you, only Jesus. Jesus Christ is the Way the Truth and the Life, He is the DOOR, He is the only one who will decide whether you go into heaven or who will refuse you entry into His Kingdom.
Jesus Christ is the FINAL JUDGE. Jesus Christ is the only one who can help you. Go on your knees and humble yourself before Jesus, cry out to Him, pray, ask Him and He will tell you. Jesus Christ will not refuse or reject anyone who comes before Him humbly and who seeks Him. It is not the will of God that anyone perish but that all repent and have eternal life.
Go on your knees and speak to Jesus. Don’t speak to anybody else. Jesus swill NEVER reject you. Speak to Jesus. May Jesus bless you.
Is there really a sin that God refuse to forgive if we repent of it? Would not this contradict 1 John 1:9 that ALL sins are forgiven if we confess and repent? I thought Jesus died for all sins from all people.
Only Jesus can answer that question, dear friend. Pray and ask Him, He will answer you.